yogurt

yogurt

YOGURT

9/6/18

I remember in the olden days yogurt was invented. And it was terrible. Yogurt attempted to become a “thing” back when I was a wee lad growing up in the old country of the USA & it faced much ridicule. It was slimy, it was at best bland & at worst repugnant. People made jokes that it was called “yogurt” because that’s the sound you made when it came back up.

Over time, yogurt got fixed. It achieved becoming a thing. It became at times indistinguishable from ice cream – frozen yogurt became somehow better for you than ice cream & somehow tasted exactly the same. It got a nickname like “FroYo” & was used in campaigns as our postal system got polluted with used foil labels being mailed. Yogurt became “good” & “good for you” & it became popular, all it needed I guess was sugar? I don’t know, but in the decades that followed, yogurt became a big deal; the whole fat vs. calories deception was largely the culprit I’m sure. It had milk, active cultures (whatever that means), & flavor – fruit, nuts, chocolate, the works.
Then, it was determined more recently that yogurt was actually BAD for you. Where did yogurt go wrong? Well, it started tasting good & became popular, & this friendly-to-the-masses version was not the yogurt it started out to be & was popular at the sake of all that it believed in; much like most good ideas, motivations, & probably even the modern church?

So then someone invented Greek Yogurt. (I’m not sure who exactly, but they were probably Greek). And it’s terrible. And anyone who thinks it’s good is lying, deceived, trying to fit in, or invented it. But it’s good for you, & better than the “regular” yogurt that has been around since the days of Tab cola.
But it’s terrible. At least it has been. Now it’s starting to get better; there’s more flavor options & choices to hide that slight burn your tongue gets when you eat it & the aftertaste. Eventually it will probably taste good, & will be just like ice cream. Sugar will fix it, or more to our current climate: some kind of sweetener; Stevia, Splenda, not-Nutrasweet, Monk Fruit, Sucralose, Yellow #5, whatever.

I do have to say the popularity of it took off a lot faster than old yogurt. I think the generations of conditioning with yogurt acceptance & the interest in healthier foods has done that. Maybe that’s why everyone is too afraid to admit that Greek yogurt actually tastes bad. I don’t know; I’m eating it, cuz it’s popular & good for me. All it needs is some stuff in it & coffee to wash it down.